ANDREA GAINES

Crystal Queen

2011-12-11T12:51:00.002-06:00

Written after a surprise kidney stone removal....

CRYSTAL QUEEN

My way
Or the Highway

I know what's best
Forget about 'you rest

Black or white
I know what's right

Sharp, hard, rigid and precise
Lends itself to not bein' nice

Over time the ego gets bigger and harder
I'll do it my way, starts to feel like, "Meet me, Ms Martyr"

Vigilante, on her game
Is gonna die like you, just the same

Let things go, then they pass
Hang on, and it cuts glass

Crystals and stones
Givin' me the groans

Rigid and hard, has gotta go
Time to soften, be in the flow

Loosening the reigns, releasing the strife
Softly I go, melting into life

Closure

2011-11-15T18:47:00.007-06:00

I got a glimpse today
I felt the heat rising within
I softened, melted multiple times

As the day went on, a little hurt here
A slight clench there

A gift not met
That small contraction closes my veil

Getting lonely, feeling lost
Stormy weather, pulling me in

I am not loved, yet I feel alone
My yearnings insatiable,
Who could possibly meet them

More fullness, fire, radiant heat
When the flame goes out, I feel dead

I want to be pressed open, the penetration of his art
Can I keep giving, when I want, want, want?

I too must generate spontaneous art
Devotional offering, yearning awakens my flame
And allows me to live more fully from my heart

Melting Open

2011-11-09T07:08:00.010-06:00

Opening to love
That's all there is

Deep, full love is only a sheath away
Breathe into that veil
Deeper, dissolving the filters of my perception

Expanding my breath down into my heart
Relaxing my jaw, shoulders, softening.
Feeling the other, can I feel their heart?

It's such a thin layer that keeps us apart
Closure an old habit, protecting my heart

I invoke my instincts like a sensing animal,
Feeling, smelling - noticing more
Knowing I am safe, I can open love's door

Or I invoke the child of wonder, trusting, adoring, following you
Devotional disposition, vulnerable, each moment is new

Sometimes it's hard, when I don't get my way
You annoy me, are closed and don't want to play

Can I see past your hurts, thru mine, not reacting
Practicing in the moment, yearning and giving affection

Melting you open, with a soft touch or gaze
I can lessen the closures, opening the gates

Melting us open to God, is the feminine's divine fate.

Pressing Me In

2011-11-03T09:07:00.007-05:00

You surprise me, forcefully without any harm
And take me, strongly in your arms

The depth of your gaze and the dark in your eyes
Fills me, fuels me, ecstatically - I love the surprise

Your confidence, intense pace
Commanding tone and serious face

Melt me, relax me
Who knew you could put me in my place

Your fierceness and fire smooths me, irons me out
You are taking me to new places, without a doubt

Pressing me in, opening to God
Nervous system now on 'slow'
I softly surrender, allowing our love to flow

Keep Opening

2011-11-01T19:29:00.002-05:00

The house is quiet, little stirring in the air.
My heart still expanded, but do I dare, share my flair?

Folding back into the life stream
Our weekend like a dream

Alchemy - a gift witches create
Turning the ordinary into an altered state

Love, open, "gift" - no matter what
No more falling in a rut

Who needs a little spice of my brew
How could I gift it so they feel anew

Feeling, sensing - what do they need
I will stay open, dropping my seeds

Fertilizing each encounter with a fun spice
Be creative, the next new flavor might be right.

Opening to God is what is what it's about
Tribal, snaking, underworld, latin fire - there are so many routes!

The Dark One

2011-11-01T19:26:00.002-05:00

I can't contain myself.
I'm about to burst.
The cauldron is stirring,
And if ignored, will bring out my worst.

She's scratching and pawing,
wanting to unleash.
I stuff her, squash her
Be quiet, go away.

I feed her incessant, insatiable appetite.
Trying to appease her with food,
No matter how much, or how often.

Until the untamed is unleashed,
I bristle, rigidly control and contain,
Slowly contracting, retracting until I'm insane.

While the beast is numb and subdued with food,
The cauldron still simmers, darkening my mood.

The pull of the night sky and and dark moon is calling her out.
To delve into shadow through the darkest route.

The ritual of dance, art of surrender and the power to devour....
Are ancient, cyclical and forever here to claim our power.

No longer containing what's there to be risen,
Her voice, her sounds, her rage and sorrows,
Fill the heavens for all women and girls to come forth from their burrows.

To share our collective pulse, our curse, alchemy and power.
We renew ourselves, before being reborn into a beautiful flower.

The space between destruction and creation,
Is our birth of transformation.

Where Do you Reside?

2011-07-13T19:44:00.003-05:00

Where do you live from?
Which part of your body
From your head, your heart, your gut, your sex?

Do you choose linear-ly, with ration and discernment
Where is your power center?

Do you feel out
What would be possible if you lived in sensation
From your senses
Primal, animal like, all feelers are on

Would you be fast or slow
Scared or trusting
Wanting or hiding
Giving or withholding

Channels are clear
No blocks are here

Your energy is strong
Your presence is ON

You communicate with every sense
Your eyes go deep
Your scent permeates

You hear it all
You feel and see it all
You penetrate with presence wherever you go

Your energy circulates
Always in the flow

Thank You Bruno

2011-06-11T19:38:00.001-05:00

Life is what you make it.
You can see what's wrong, what's in the way.
Or you can see what's good and seize the day.

Bruno had a spirit that opened his heart
Every morning with a smile and a wag,
That said, "Hey, today's my lucky day. I'm here for you - you're here for me
What can we we do to play?"

Never heavy, down and out
Bruno didn't every seem to pout

Thank you, thank you, thank you Bruno!

Bruno

2011-06-08T19:13:00.001-05:00

Friend and pal
With you I felt well

Happy was your game
I could count on you to be the same

Happy, happy
That's your name

You brought us love & joy
Your barking
Your joy

Your walking on the tennis court, while we played
Your trust of me taking you out of the car
Your loyalty staying by by side

Bruno your spirit lives in us
Open, trust, love, be happy!

Nag or Nuture

2011-05-22T19:59:00.000-05:00

Why do I nag?
Truly it is a drag

For me not showing my best
And for those who I don't give a rest

Fear must be the reason.
I give life to nagging each and every season

My guys are perfect in many ways
I love them, adore them most days

If I don't remind you what to do
You'll forget, get lost, in the world of you.
Only I'm on it, the Protector, the Captain to run this crew.

The fear I'll be left alone, by myself thinking,
"I thought we were in this together."

Or, you'll become a sloth, loser like Dad
And I'll feel all alone and sad

To nag or nurture
Which is my future?

When I nag, I see you retract
You numb, ignore, that's a fact

I desire to release control
And allow, trust we can live from our soul

No more commands. It'll be your choice.
To nurture, to love you is how I'll use my voice.

Sawyer Our Kitty

2010-11-12T19:09:00.002-06:00

Sawyer our Kitty,
Here's a little diddy

How you touched our lives so
Your big love spirit allowed us to grow

Because of you we have more joy, fun and light
We found you on the side of the road & keeping you felt right

I want to live like you did
Living each day fully, playing, having adventures, being curious,
Loving, cuddling, allowing, relaxing, trusting and being a BIG lover

I will relish in your qualities each day
Knowing your short time here was a reminder to go for it
Thanks for showing me the way

My Dearest Darling Inspiration

2010-10-16T19:30:00.001-05:00

You are a spirit of joy, love and exude the Divine's presence.

Your beauty runs deep and I adore you.

Your heart's desires are perfect.
Allow them space to grow and feed them with your smile.

Never doubt yourself.
What you imagine, what you feel, what you want -
It is ok - more than ok.

You are perfect in my eyes.
Your longings are my longings.

I am always here for you.
To love you, support you, hold and remind you -
You will always be loved.

I behold your beauty in my arms, my heart and
See your perfection in mind, body and spirit

Your tears fill my heart and
I feel all your sadness, joy, fear and longings

I hold for you - all that you desire
The stars, the moon, the sky.
In my eyes you can do no wrong.
Your heart is pure even when you make mistakes.

You are my goddess, my inspiration, my funny girl, lover girl
My Divine in the flesh.

Take it slow. Take it easy on yourself.
Know what is in you is magnificent.
Your divinity within wants to express.
Allow her in all her forms.
If you do this - we will all be ok.
I love you.

Desire

2010-10-14T13:06:00.001-05:00

For a New Beginning
by John O'Donohue

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

I Know the Way You Can Get

2010-05-25T22:39:00.007-05:00

I Know the Way You Can Get by Hafiz - 14th century Persian poet

I know the way you can get
When you have not had a drink of Love:

Your face hardens,
Your sweet muscles cramp.
Children become concerned
About a strange look that appears in your eyes
Which even begins to worry your own mirror
And nose.

Squirrels and birds sense your sadness
And call an important conference in a tall tree.
They decide which secret code to chant
To help your mind and soul.

Even angels fear that brand of madness
That arrays itself against the world
And throws sharp stones and spears into
The innocent
And into one's self.

O I know the way you can get
If you have not been drinking Love:

You might rip apart
Every sentence your friends and teachers say,
Looking for hidden clauses.

You might weigh every word on a scale
Like a dead fish.

You might pull out a ruler to measure
From every angle in your darkness
The beautiful dimensions of a heart you once
Trusted.

I know the way you can get
If you have not had a drink from Love's
Hands.

That is why all the Great Ones speak of
The vital need
To keep remembering God,
So you will come to know and see Him
As being so Playful
And Wanting,
Just Wanting to help.

That is why Hafiz says:
Bring your cup near me.

For I am a Sweet Old Vagabond
With an Infinite Leaking Barrel
Of Light and Laughter and Truth
That the Beloved has tied to my back.

Dear one,
Indeed, please bring your heart near me.
For all I care about
Is quenching your thirst for freedom!

All a Sane man can ever care about
Is giving Love!

2010

2010-01-13T13:32:00.009-06:00

2009 was fine.
2010, it's time to begin.

In you there's something inside
That sees possibility and is willing to go for the ride.

Identify your strengths, your wishes and speak them.

What you have to offer, to teach, inspire
Could touch someone's heart and ignite their fire.

What will you let go of this year?
Should's, have-to's and fear?

What do you want to embrace?
Your truth, trusting yourself, confidence, courage?

It's divine order this year that you find your depth,
and seek the courage to take the next step.

How could you be more bold and courageous?
It might be in kindness or braveness.

To be alive and see the good in all.
Is how we can grow and not play small.

Waking up to your gifts that you are meant to share
Can be an act of service in our world - if only you dare.

Possibility, choice, belief
Let yourself turn over a new leaf.

Fix, Manage, Control

2009-12-12T17:45:00.012-06:00

Fix, manage, control.
What does that do for our soul?

To be in charge, to know what's best
What if it's all just a test?

To see if we can let go
And trust that life is already in its flow.

Putting out fires, being a success
Looks good on the outside, but leaves me a mess.

What if my way isn't God's way?
I bulldoze and rarely lose.
He gently opens the door and gives me opportunity to choose.

What if we could trust that each of us is on our own path.
To peel our own layers so we can grow.
Practicing acceptance, gentleness and vulnerability
With ourselves, will open our hearts and give us humility.

We can choose to let go, not be in charge and trust there's a divine plan.
Keep it simple - be easy on ourselves and love & accept the differences in man.

To acknowledge people's greatness and the talents you see, is an act of kindness.
To fuel them to go out and touch others with their gift.
This is how we uplift the world, one-person-at-a-time, and make the planet's needed shift.

Chickadees

2009-12-12T17:33:00.003-06:00

Chickadees, you are my glee.
You sing, you chirp, you buzz and talk to me.
You're so cute, you're so funny.
Your spriteness, many voices - keep me sunny.
You always make an effort to say hello,
Even with no sun, you don't feel low.
Your joy, hope and heart's big smile,
Help me remember the small things make life worth while.

Burglars, Monsters and Creeps

2009-10-19T20:35:00.003-05:00

Burglars, Monsters, Creeps
You make me mad & made me weep.
You stole my stuff, you invaded my space.
You took tv's, clothes and didn't leave a trace.
I hate you - you jerks.
How do I feel safe with you still on the lurk?
I feel invaded, violated and trespassed.
My things, disheveled - a mess.
Your energy left a horrible feeling.
Sad, angry, scared - I'm still reeling.
May you find peace & amend your acts.
If only you'd trust the world, open your heart, and see there is no lack.

The Glove of Love

2009-10-15T19:19:00.002-05:00

My wish for you is love, self-love
Embracing you like a tight fitting glove

Every part of you feels it's ok, warm and nurtured
Decisions and thoughts don't feel like a torture

Imagine that glove warm, hugging and squeezing you

Second guessing, guilt those days are over
Fill yourself with empathy, curiousity and acceptance

Be ok with who you are
A beautiful brilliant unique star

Summer Mornings

2009-07-07T21:00:00.002-05:00

The sun greets us early.
Its warmth & presence say,
Rise & shine, you have much, you are strong.

What gifts do you bring to the world?
Many are here to receive your song.

Challenge yourself not to hide.
Forgot about ego, fear and false pride.

Be big. Be bold. Let them see your light inside.

The bird's morning music remind us too,
There's nothing wrong.
Just sing, sing, enjoy this world.
Other's will appreciate you - dare to share your song.

Chicago in June

2009-06-11T21:53:00.004-05:00

The weather is gray
The birds don't mind.
Where is the sun?
We want you to shine.

The warmth of your rays,
Brings a smile to our day.
The clouds & the wind roll through the night.
Each day of June brings little warmth in sight.

The earth is changing
It feels like a shift.
Things never stay the same
Perhaps that is a gift.

If change is in the air
How might we adapt?
Awaken, open your heart, let your spirit soar.
Love heals all wounds
Even our planet could use more.

2009-06-06T08:26:00.000-05:00

Good morning cardinal. Good morning grackle.
I hear your calls, it's your morning cackle.
Rain or shine, your voice is always in the distance.
I look forward to waking and hearing which of you catches my interest.

Squirrels

2009-06-06T08:22:00.002-05:00

You pesky critters.
Stealing my bird food.
You are clever. You are quick.
I threw a pencil at you
but it didn't stick.
Your big round eyes and twitching tail,
Show your alertness and calculating self.
Survival of the fittest, you do so well.
You're quick. You're fast.
Knowing you, your persistence will last.

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

2009-05-20T19:31:00.003-05:00

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

Love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours,

And I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

Are moving across the landscapes over the prairies

And the deep trees, the mountains and rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

Are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

The world offers itself to your imagination,

Call to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –

Over and over announcing your place in the family of things.

The Morning Slumber

2009-05-20T08:20:00.002-05:00

Birds are singing.
The world is rumbling.
My eyes are shut,
But my mind is stirring.
The cardinals are filled with joy.
My heart begins to stir.
Wow, the day is full of possibility.
What shall I do!?
The birds remind me,
Keep it simple. Share your song.
That's all you need to do.

Seagulls on the Shore

2009-05-12T16:32:00.005-05:00

Dusk is here on the lake.
The waters are calm & quiet,
except for the buzz in the air.
Something is happening.
What is it?
There's a flutter above the water.
The seagulls are talking to each other.
"Look here! Over here! Go!"
Splash!
They dive, eat and soar - cackling again.
There's a buzz. A gathering.
Opportunity.
In the peace & calm of evening,
There's a life force building and another one ending.
Such is life.
In the quiet we come.
Life. Opportunity. Feed yourself. Share. Help others.
And into the night we go.
Dawn is approaching - a new day begins.

Mother's Day

2009-05-11T23:07:00.001-05:00

I'm so happy today.
It's Mother's Day.
What a wonderful son.
He knows how to live life & have fun.
A card, a hug, a smile -
Makes it all really worthwhile.

I'm happy. I'm loved.
I feel taken care of from above.
Thank you God. Thank you Spirit.
I love this feeling. I want to stay near it.

Red-Winged Black Bird

2009-05-06T06:56:00.003-05:00

Morning Music

My heart's a singin'.
The morning dawn,
Calls you from slumber.
What are we sharing
With our morning song & call?
It's our joy, our love, our all!
We sing because we're happy.
We sing because we're free.
A song for you as a reminder,
You too have a song within you.
Share it. Sing it. Tell us.
Your beauty, your song -
May too wake someone from a slumber.

Healthy Banana Bread Recipe

2009-03-31T09:41:00.002-05:00

This is healthy and yummy!

5 ripe bananas, mashed
3/4 cup Agave Nectar, or Sucanat, or Rapadura sugar, or Honey
3/4 cup ground flaxseed
1/4 cup milk (skim, soy, rice or almond)
1/4 cup fat free, plain greek yogurt or fat free cottage cheese
2 egg whites
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp sea salt

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray entire 9x5" loaf pan or muffin pan with cooking spray

2. In medium bowl, mash bananas. Add sweetener, flaxseed, milk, yogurt (or cottage cheese) and egg whites. Mix until well blended. In a smaller bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda and salt. Stir the dry ingredients into the banana mixture until mositened. Spoon into muffin pan or loaf pan.

3. For muffins - bake 20 minutes at 350. For loaf pan, bake 1 hour and 10 minutes at 350. (toothpick inserted into the crown will come out clean)

Makes 12 servings/12 muffins
Nutrition per serving:
Calories: 193; Total fat: 3g; Carbs: 39g; Fiber: 6g; Sugars 18g; Protein: 6g; 0 Saturated, 0 Trans fats.

March 18 - I hear the birds again today.....

2009-03-31T09:34:00.008-05:00

We sing because we're happy.
We sing because we're free.
Our eyes, we always see.
Our song - is a life of being free.

We want you to know, our song is for you.
To inspire and lift you to see,
That freedom and happiness is yours every day too,
If you are willing - it can be.

March 9th - The birds continue to inspire me.....

2009-03-31T09:29:00.003-05:00

March rain - cold, wet.
The birds are back,
They don't mind getting wet.

They gather in bunches, we hear their call.
Their spirits are talking - joy, joy is for all.
Sing, sing let your spirit soar.
Open your hearts and there will be more.

The ground is thawing, the bulbs are sprouting.
For us a reminder - relax, remember - we too are growing.

Cardinals

2009-02-25T10:00:00.002-06:00

Here's a poem I wrote yesterday:

Cardinals

Red, brown - I hear your voice.
Early in the spring, even in winter - you offer me choice.
Your song cheers me up, wakes my spirit and gives me reason.
Always hopeful, your call is sweet each and every season.

Out my back door, up high out front.
You have a view that's big and wide,
Reminding me of possibility - you are on my side.

Your vibrance, your stature, your trust
Always says "Wake up Spirit, you must!"

You brighten the winter, on gray days you pop.
Cold or not, you never stop.

Thank you for your sweet call and doing your part.
With you, I can always open my heart.

Are You Drinking Enough Water?

2007-10-02T13:58:00.000-05:00

Probably not, given that 80% of people are dehydrated. If you wait until you are thirsty, you are probably already dehydrated. The body NEEDS water to function well. How much water is ideal? 1 quart for every 50 lbs. of body weight. That's 3-4 quarts of water per day for the majority of us. Always round up. Water makes up 60% of the human body. That’s 70% in the brain, 82% in the blood and 90% in the lungs. With such high ratios, the importance of drinking high quality water cannot be underestimated. Scientists report that a 2% reduction of water levels in the body can correspond to a loss of 20% in both physical and mental productivity. This is important because, the thirst reflex does not become active until the body has already reached a state of dehydration. Low energy, acne, wrinkles, fatigue, bad breath, headaches all can be signs of dehydration. Remember, don't leave the house without a bottle of water. You'll be a great model for your family & co-workers too!

What's Your Afternoon Pick-Me-Up?

2007-10-02T13:54:00.000-05:00

Many people like to go to Starbucks for a little energy boost to carry them through until dinnertime. A plain coffee is one thing, but a vanilla soy latte or another sweet drink can lead to unnecessary weight gain. Did you know an additional 100 calories a day, leads to an extra 10 lbs. per year? An additional 300 calories a day, is an extra 30 lbs. per year! Know your nutrition! A Grande, Skim Vanilla Latte is 250 calories. A Tall Skim Mocha Frappuccino w/ whip is 280 calories! Check out more of your favorite drinks at: http://www.starbucks.com/retail/nutrition_beverages.asp

Keep your energy up throughout the day by eating every 2-3 hours. Have a small, healthy snacks between meals, such as nuts & fruit. This can go a long way to keep your blood sugar even & avoid that late afternoon slump.
Examples of Healthy Snacks: (think, unprocessed!)
- 1/4 c. raw nuts (cashews, almonds & walnuts) and an apple
- 2 percent Fage yogurt w/ grapes
- 1 Tbs. natural peanut butter on one slice of whole wheat toast
- Grapes or Apple & 1 serving mozzarella string cheese
- Raw veggies & hummus or string cheese
Examples of Non-Healthy Snacks:
- chips
- crackers
- candy bars
- candy
- cereal/granola
- cereal/granola bars
- fruit juice/soda/Gatorade
- muffins
- sweetened yogurt

Look at ingredients and avoid:
- Sugar
- Enriched wheat flour
- Partially hydrogenated oils
- Aspartame
- High Fructose Corn Syrup

Shop ahead of time & be prepared when you leave the house w/ a lean protein & low-fat snack. Make it part of your routine! Planning + preparation = progress!

Sleep

2007-06-21T22:47:00.002-05:00

Did you know you're at risk for weight gain if you're sleeping less than 7-8 hours a night? Sleep loss can increase hunger for more calorie dense, high carbohydrate foods. Ghrelin, Cortisol and Leptin are hormones that get disrupted from lack of sleep, and cause an increase appetite & promote fat storage. Sleep is very important to your overall health & wellness. Make it a priority to get to bed early!

Interval Training

2007-06-21T22:47:00.001-05:00

Did you know interval training is one of the best ways to burn fat & improve your overall cardiovascular fitness? More studies are confirming this and athletes have know about it for decades. Short bursts of high-intensity exercise, followed by easy recovery, once or twice a week, will dramatically improve your endurance and your body's fat burning abilities. If you are a jogger, try adding 5-6, 30 second sprints on your next run. If you are a walker, try 30 seconds of super fast power walking or jogging, 5 or 6 times during your walk. Allow yourself time to catch your breath & recover before each set of intervals. After several weeks of interval training you'll end up burning more fat in your continuous cardio workouts and you'll improve your heart & lung capacity!